It’s been a rough couple of days…weeks, a year really, and I wasn’t necessarily looking forward to a wet, overcast Monday today. Seeing my mom on two separate occasions last week just really broke my heart. 💔 It is so hard for me to see the suffering she is going through and feeling my hands are tied. The 26th will be a year since the doctor caused her stroke. And if I were to be honest, it’s hard for me to enjoy much of anything in my own life because of it. She is always, always on my mind and in my prayers! I tried hard today to let God in, to take my heavy load, it’s a continual load, but He reminds me He is STILL here and to look for beauty where I can. It is an attitude adjustment I surely struggle with but today, right now, I choose to focus on the beauty He has given me out my rear window.
The leaves and needles are falling, there’s change all over my backyard.
Nature is transitioning, and the cold is coming.
Nature mimics our lives.
Change/transition can sometimes bring the cold too:
At times, ABSOLUTE TRAUMA.
Life can change out of nowhere, with not even a hint of warning…
loss of a job, a bad report from the doctor, a friend’s unfounded betrayal,
And with it, brings heartache.
Deep, deep sadness.
The deepest pit.
Heartache [only YOU know] because it’s YOURS.
You own it at its deepest level.
Yes, people can offer advice, words of comfort, even wisdom…
BUT words feel like a band-aid. You can’t really take them in.
You don’t want any more words.
You dread to see anyone. I mean how do you answer?
You feel you just can’t take anymore.
Finally, your body breaks down in a good cry. A hard cry. A shaking kind of cry.
A cry your body can’t hold in any longer.
And it pleads for a meeting with God.
A quiet, still place where He brings His presence. HIS sweet, wonderful presence.
No one’s talking. It’s just still.
That undeniable presence consumes your space.
You KNOW He’s near.
in every part of your being.
Only GOD can do that.
Only GOD really gets you.
He knows your deepest pain like no other.
Only HE can comfort.
Yes, HE knows you intimately.
He promises to get right in there and feel your sorrow with you.
He’s present…He really is.
Right alongside you.
We live in a fallen world with many hurts and disappointments.
This isn’t how we saw our lives.
This wasn’t the plan.
People weren’t supposed to be so mean.
My loved one was to be here for many, more years.
But..life happens and you’re caught off guard.
There’s no stopping it, or asking for a do-over.
You can never be prepared.
Lean on God, pour out your heart.
Feel embraced and loved today.
He gets it. He really does.
More than anyone else.
And yes, someday…
Someday…IT WILL ALL MAKE SENSE.
That is the HOPE I choose to lean on;
to cling to.
It’s my ONLY choice, really.